feb 6

The title is so original, eh?

A dump of my random thoughts:

1. I think I like list formats quite a bit. They make things seem more organized.

2. I'm getting better at holding back things to say out loud - as seconds thoughts make me smarter. There's really no need to mention things like "he's an idiot" or "yea i donated to that charity once." Y'know, things like that. Judgments are never really a good thing. And acts of goodness or statements portraying my self pride/righteousness I can keep to myself with God as my witness.

3. Ironically, having a single room makes me feel less lonely - as now I can very comfortably have alone time in which I write, meditate, read, etc. I guess having that time for myself is in a way, interacting with my "other" me that satisfies some kind of subtle desire for thought and quite time.

4. The making of the film "Crippled" was not only a process of a few weeks - but generations worth of decisions, thoughts, actions, and lives in general. Similarly, I must apply that knowledge to make the best decisions now for my own children and their children. In life, I must not live selfishly, but with remembrance of the past and future. You should read Siddhartha.

5. The amount of monetary success, fame, or reputation I accomplish in life is of total irrelevance to how well and righteously I actually live life. At any level of any type of success can one find any level of life-living caliber. Therefore, I also must be slow in judging others I see "below" or "above" myself.

6. Been watching Palme d'or winning films lately. So very different from Hollywood films, which is a good thing. I realize many of them (the Palm d'or films) are very ambiguous in terms of theme or message. Rather, the films are more realistic in that it is the audience's responsibility to come up with some type of conclusion. But at the same time, I believe artists have the responsibility to show audiences the door to a particular type of conclusion. The burden of choosing whether or not to go through that door is up to the audience. Completely realistic films I find somewhat...not as ideal as they could be. Same with life. Complete realism in life bores me. I like people who are a bit unrealistic - as they are more ambitious, imaginative, and alive.